Angela, an ICU nurse, recounts receiving a call at work on December 1, 2020, that her son had been hospitalized after a severe asthma attack. Having not seen him in over a year due to the pandemic, they were planning a Christmas reunion. As a medical professional, she recognized the grim signs upon arriving at the hospital: his medications were decreasing, vitals were normalizing, and he was producing excessive urine, a classic indicator of brain injury. She knew she was watching her son slip away. Her son, JP III, was declared brain dead. In the aftermath, Angela grappled with the natural impulse to create alternative narratives, wondering if she could have saved him had she been present. She reflects on the futility of blame, referencing the movie The Flash, where the protagonist cannot alter his mother's fate despite time travel. She finds solace in their last exchange being "I love you." The organ donation team contacted her, and she made the decision without haste, understanding that blame would not bring him back.
The memoir delves into the isolating nature of grief, challenging well-intentioned but often hollow platitudes like "he's in a better place." Angela emphasizes that grief manifests uniquely for everyone and that healing can begin quietly, even on days when one does not cry. She warns against destructive escapes like substance abuse, advocating instead for healthy pathways such as walking, listening to music, and leaning on family. Her husband, daughter, and wider support network became essential anchors, reminding her that this journey cannot be walked alone. Angela returned to her nursing duties on Christmas Day, just 24 days after the initial phone call and a week after her son's memorial. She acknowledges it may have been too soon but needed to start healing rather than drown in sorrow. A friend who also lost a child advised that she must rebuild a life without her daughter, a sentiment Angela now applies to living without her firstborn son.
The narrative is framed by her faith, referencing Romans 2:11 and Jeremiah 29:11, which helped her confront the question of "why me?" and accept the unchangeable nature of certain events. Ultimately, 'Forever 32' serves as both a tribute and a guide, asserting that while the death of a child leaves a permanent void, it also leaves a legacy through the many roles the departed played in others' lives. Angela urges readers to cherish every moment and offer kindness to the living, as everyone eventually leaves this world. The Earth, she notes, is not our permanent home, a concept supported by Hebrews 13:14. Her story underscores that in the darkest moments, one must choose to step toward the light, for the sun will rise regardless.
